Where I Saw More Than I Ever Knew I Missed

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I think I read this twice in college--one time each at two different universities--and at least one or two times since, but it's still been quite awhile. I seldom read books twice, so whether it's 3 or 4 or 5 times, it's a personal record. (Not counting books I taught in high school. Some of those I read 30-40 times, mostly reading out loud. My Like Water for Chocolate readings got pretty good reviews at one time....) And here's the point--I still really liked it, but I was surprised to find that I liked it better this time.

[On the other hand, I once liked Mansfield Park the best out of Austen's novels, and after a reread changed my mind on that. Young, preachy, churchy me at one time approved of the prudishness of the characters more than old, heretical, morally gray me does now. I still like it okay, but I like the Crawfords more than I should and am more sympathetic to them than I'm probably meant to be.]

Anyway--Reasons I liked it better this time:

Mostly, I'm an improved reader, which I am both relieved and disturbed to discover. Relieved, because aging isn't entirely about things getting better, but disturbed because I was meant to be an actual expert in the topic long ago and maybe shouldn't have had so much room still to grow... But a lot of that difference is relating to knowledge about the world more than words on the page. Not only have I learned quite a bit on random topics in 40 years (like how 19th century English society worked, a subject I knew NOTHING about in my teens and 20s) which helped contribute to deeper comprehension, but more significantly, I've gotten better at paying attention and entering into the narration. I think younger me, even as an adult but especially at college, let a lot of fuzzy, half-comprehended stuff go by without stopping or slowing to figure it out or trying to commit anything (like the names and relationships between characters) to memory. I think that was good-student pride, preventing me from trying too hard because I shouldn't have to. I had always succeeded by just reading stuff--no effort required. Getting into the flow of reading and flying through texts it has its benefits, but pausing to think about things, taking time to get an inch or two below the surface of mere comprehension, even when reading for pleasure, has different payoffs.

My early readings of Austen were handicapped by many kinds of ignorance, including my inability to recognize whose behavior was approved and whose disapproved, either in their time or in ours. Sure, Mr. Collins is ridiculous, and Lady Catherine is a blowhard and a bully, but how irresponsible was Mr. Bennet toward his daughters? And how lazy? I didn't see that back then. Darcy is reserved and judgmental, obviously, but how reasonable (and how rude) was Elizabeth's behavior toward him? I assumed she was exactly right to do as she did, but even she changed her mind about that. Bingley was a nice guy, apparently blameless in everything, but how significant a flaw was his willingness to give way to everyone else? Charlotte seems like she's selling herself short, and it's easy to think she was foolish--but did she not, after all, take the likeliest route available to her in that society for at least a small share of happiness? Did she have any other options at that age if she said no to Mr. Collins?

All things that young dumb me didn't understand or didn't know to think about.

The biggest change I noticed during this reading was how much of the tone came through, and especially how it made me laugh more than any time before. I'm sure that awareness is a result of long experience with the many adaptations as well as from rereading the other novels, but it also comes from being in less of a hurry. Things I didn't notice before, or things that seemed like mere detail at first, now stand out to me in a new way. I get it--Mary's sermonizing and staid pronouncements (made with "a countenance of grave reflection") are meant to be ridiculous. Mr. Bennet is absolutely laughing at Mr. Collins all the time. At his wife, too. Then there's Lady Catherine boasting about things she has never done. Or offering Elizabeth the piano where she will be in "no one's way." Mr. Collins trying so very hard to please her. Darcy messing with Miss Bingley as she tries to distract him from his letters. Mrs. Bennet's petty, selfish, childish reactions to everything, like a grown-up Lydia. Even Jane's inability to see the harm in anyone. All this is more intentional than I ever saw. Old Man me can hear the author's voice so much clearer now.

Not that I'm claiming to have it all sorted, necessarily; but I engage with the text with a lot more sophistication than I could muster 40 years ago. Or even 10 years ago, TBH. I'm picking up a lot more flavors than I once did.

Makes me wonder how differently I might see it ten or twenty years from now--or any novel, for that matter. Not sure what I'm hoping for.

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