Where It Didn't Please Me at All

Cloud Gate Song: The Verse of Tang Poet Zhang Ji by Jonathan Chaves
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I usually enjoy Tang poetry; its topics and themes and vibe in general I find very compelling, and I usually find lots to relate to. And I usually like the translator, who is responsible for two other books that I really enjoyed.

I didn't like this one at all.

No, I amend that--I liked some of the shorter poems at the end of the collection. But the longer ones up front I actually kind of hated. Some is the author, whose poetry is mostly not interesting to me, but the rest is all on the translator. I mean, he did it with malice aforethought.

He made it rhyme. Ugh. No.

To be fair, he made a compelling case for it in the introduction, and I kinda thought he was gonna win me over. He doesn't usually try to make it rhyme, but he wanted the reader to come nearer the original experience than is possible with the usual translations. So I gave him a chance. For me, it's still a no. Too many rhymes are awkward, with inverted grammar, like rhyming "broken" with "the words inscribed effaced, so of the date there is no token," or "aback" with "and so I learn how illness does attack," and "pestles in mortars endlessly do smack." It isn't just that I don't care for it; when I read it, my inner narrator starts getting into a sing-songy style and I literally don't know what I'm reading. I re-read so many poems here, some multiple times, and that rhythm and rhyme pulled me back in like a poem in a Hallmark card.

Obviously, others may feel different about it. They might enjoy it. Me, I found myself getting mad. La d-da d-da d-da, la d-da d-de... I shoulda DNF'ed. But it got better, some. I liked the poems more when the translator (who, again, I normally really like) used slant rhymes and other approximations so that it didn't force my brain into a nursery rhyme gallop. (That's why this gets 2 stars. It was gonna be my first ever 1-star review, but I liked some of the short poems at the end.)

Because I prefer to be encouraging I'd like to direct anyone who gets this far to please check out "Pilgrim of the Clouds," and "Heaven My Blanket, Earth My Pillow," to see Ming and Sung poetry (respectively) beautifully translated by Jonathan Chaves. And if you have no hangups about poetry rhyming in English translation, have at this one.

I may investigate Zhang Ji to see if I like his poetry after all. (Not sure if there are other translations. Hafta google.) Right now I can't tell.

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